Love me or Hate me, you decide.
Fcuk with the world, people <3

May Sarah. 3rd Dec, 1989. That little handsome is my Danish Haikal. i'll bitch all i like here. it's my blog anyway.

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MEL SURIN PAULA SANDY CANDY itsrocking STUDIOOFFROST NURUL AINI SARA NATASHA NANIE DNA SHEERAH Nafeesa's

"whatever" that's all i can say for now. i'm not being myself lately people. yes i admit that this is because of the separation i have with Bean. it's like a sudden change for me for 4 fucking years. with my low income, now i have to support danish, pay aunt Ru for babysitting, pay my own hp bill, debts, transportation, my own expenses, etc. i don't even have enough to save and this thing have been part of my life since idk when. sometime i don't feel like living anymore. i hate to have all these things hanging on me all the time. one word to describe it, rimas (malay). i'm so rimas with all these things i hate that revolve around me everyday. how i wish i can lived in a fairytale where there's always a happy ending. but that's a fantasy that i can't even dream of.

i'm trying to let this go by relating it to some people that i reckon they can advice me but in the end, i was wrong. not all of them but some of them, they just don't understand the situation i'm in. maybe they're not married or what. i'm not blaming them , maybe it's just me who can't even handle this kind of situation at this kind of age. i just need a guardian angel to be with and to walk with through out this darkness till i found its light.

i'm not been praying since i discharge from Pertapis. i'm gonna tell you people something, but it's really up to you guys to believe me or not k? ok , here we go, I CAN SEE AND FEEL THE CALMNESS OF ME WHENEVER I PRAYED AND BRING MYSELF CLOSER TO GOD. seriously people, it's way different. now, i admit that i'm so lazy to even amek wudhu. haix. i regret for not having the initiative to learn how to ngaji, how to pray and all when i was young. i only picked these things when i'm residing in Pertapis, pas tu, i lupe my daratan. :( maybe most of us are like that, huh. don't you think.

sorry for not having a very good mood today, i'm just feeling so down that i even called myself a 'USELESS BITCH'.

ok now im gonna cry. bye people.

Hey people.

wow! it's been awhile since i last blog huh. basically there's a lot of things happened. i really DO NoT know where to start. ok let's see. hmmm. (this will be a long entry)

So now im working in my boss's dad's office. it's been 2 months now and i've been learning more day by day. hey, i didn't say it's easy but willingness is definitely the key. hahaha, stop it May Sarah. ok so the procedure is like this... 1st our customer will invite us to quote the material on the item that they wanna purchase. once both party agreed on the quotation, the customer will issue us a PURCHASE ORDER (PO). and then once PO is issued, i have to issue a WORK ORDER (WO) for each item and job and then the item can be machine in the workshop. So basically the WO is an instruction to the workers la.

so once it's done and ready to be deliver, i have to issue a DELIVERY ORDER (DO) to customer. that's when the driver have to deliver the items to customer and there will be inspection done by them . once approved and DO sign, i have to create invoice based on the price they agreed earlier. so that's when we have to wait for the payment. Payment, money, bank and all... that's my account executive job. i'm out. lol.

beside that, we have to purchase material if we're out of stock. that's when again, we will invite our supplier for quotation, then i have to issue PO to them and the procedure are the same as above mentioned, only that now we're the customer. get it?

when there's visitor, i have to prepare drinks and rooms if there's any meetings held here. and i'm the one who answer all calls, emails, fax, letters and yeah, receiver of goods that we bought. fuh! there's still more. i'm the purchaser of the office stuff like stationery, printer toner, coffee, etc. lol. and all the basic admin stuff la kan.

i was an idiot in shipping, oilfield, engineering, etc in my 1st few days but i tried to really understand what's going on cause seriously, i will be at a losing point if till now i have no idea what's going on. but remember, i'm still learning.

Uncle Ben (boss's dad) had shorten my probation last month. and yeah i'm now a confirm staff here and my salary increased by $100, ONLY. :) hee. still, not enough for me. :(
ok enough about work.

now let's talk about my life. i guess most of you already knew what's happening to me. me and husband, or maybe ex husband , whatever, decided to get a divorce in a good way. we agreed to share custody of Danish. i tried not to choose the last resort (divorce) but both of us just don't wanna be married to each other anymore. i dunno if any of u guys know what i'm talking about. so yeah. we still love each other but we just can't communicate like we used to. i'll definitely miss him for sure. but i'm not sure about him missing me. whatever happened between us will always be a part of me. growing up together from teenage to young adults, and now we have a son together, it's like a learning journey for both of us. i'll be happy for him if one day i receive a wedding invitation from him. and i'll attend the wedding, congrats them and this is what i'm gonna say to her, " what's yours, has already be mine", nyahahaha. no la. you think i so heartless ar? lol. at least that day, i'll know that someone is willing to take care of him and that someone must be a soft-hearted woman. cause, there's always one thing a woman must know about my husband is that he's a very hot-tempered person just like his dad and sensitive too and a 'policeman' who love to ask question one after another. so that's why i will respect that woman if she were to say 'i do' to him. :)

i'm not saying the husband is bad , i'm not a good wife myself either. i have flaws too. i mean i think no man will want me to be his wife. lol. the husband is a good father and sometime, a good husband. there were times he adores me like i'm still his younger sister, tease me like i'm his friend, showered me with love like there's no tomorrow but when an argument start, that's when we became each other's no 1 enemy. hee.

i can see that danish miss his dad and i hate to see him thinking why his dad has not been at home for the past 2 months. i can really see all that whenever i look into his eyes. i've promised myself that i'll bring him up with love and attention and whatever i have in me to him. i'll be his dad, mum, teacher, role model, siblings and a best friend to him. i will explain to him what's going on between me and his dad when the time is right. i wanna be the person who send him off to his 1st day of school in nursery, kindergarden, primary, secondary, etc and lastly, his National Service. i wanna see him grow as a man who respect ladies, elderly and a successful man who know what's his plans for the future. Insyaallah.

but no matter what, i'll always be there for danish. i'm not a good role model but i will try to guide him to the right path. i may be young and spontaneous but deep inside, i rather prefer danish to grow up and lead his life journey way opposite of mine cause the truth is, being bad is sucks. it lead humans to NO-where. i should have listen to my sister and that's a BIG regret i have in my life and i don't want him to know that feeling.

Mama always love you, Danish Haikal. Remember that, my little handsome. xoxo <3

p/s: i love you too people. i need a break. :)

hello again people! :) these few days i've been busy with work, danish and of course issues with hubby. But im not gona elaborate it here. If you are curious, call me. Hee.

So last week, i received a sms from my boss, sandy low, asking me if im interested working for her dad as admin. I tell u people, her sms is the shockiest thing that had ever happen in my life. Omfg! I missed working as admin. I used to work in singtel as cust svc officer cum admin. That was my best job, beside san street. Then i told her im interested but i only have basic admin exp. She said the someone will handover me and guide me . The pay will be slightly higher and will increase after 3 mth confirmation. Mon to fri, 8.30 to 5.30. Extra cash for me to support my family and yeah, more time i can spend with my dear family. I missed spending the weekends with my 2 handsome boys. So i took the offer almost immediately and i'll have to report to her dad's office on 29 march. Yeah im left with less than 2 weeks with san street. I'll definitely miss em and i'll definitely visit. :) but working with her dad mean more discipline. I can handle that.

So tonight , im going to powerhouse with lala, mel, lisya, ena and maybe nanie. Sheena cant make it coz she's working. Celebrating lala's 23rd there. Im alrdy prepared to go cause the last time i club was on my bday, 3 mths ago. I love powerhouse basically bcoz of the crowd, dj and the music.... I love em all. The crowd dont reallly have alot of mat-rep, unlike dbl o. And the music i tell u, the dj, dj k-zee, knew how to do his thing. He nvr fails to disappoint me. Me and the girls go gaga whenever someone mention his name. Hahaah wth. So yeah i think tonight is gonna be a good good night.

I realised something for the past few days. I realised that i really do love my husband. Nobody knew how much my love for him and how badly i wanna hug him. He is the guy who have tolerate my nonsense for the past 4 years. You people will never imagine what crazy stuff i did to him. Sometimes, i cant blame him if one day he said that he had enough. I dont love him just bcoz he is my husband. No. I just simply love him , and of course i love danish more. Danish duplicated hubby. Both of em look alike. Im lucky to have 2 handsome boys in my life. Nobody can do it like they did. They are the reason to my everyday smile. :) i hope the next time im pregnant with a girl. Hee ;) too many boys in my life alrdy.

Ok now im starting to feel hungry. I'll see you soon people. Xoxo

im back again people! Im rotting at work now. The crowd here sucks compare to bugis junction. Sian. I'll be running ard all 3 ooutlets til further notice. Im fine with it cause i get to eat at different place. Lol.

So last friday, i met sheena at admiralty from 10 to 2 am. We were discussing abt our trip to KL on september. I cant wait! It's like my 1st holiday in my life. But not sure if we're going with the boys cause they want it to be on july and i cant take leave from april to aug. My boss, sandy low, is attending course. So im only able to take leave on september. So meaning i have plenty of time to save. I really wanna see what they have there that my friends are going ooo aahh about. Hee. Then ndp this yr, we're planning to book a room at marina mandarin to enjoy the fireworks. But that one, is definitely 50/50. I was thinking to have a trip to batam resort with husband but i still havent bring up the topic. So yeah. KL first.

Saturday i was at sheera's 21st at costa sand. I went home at 5.30 the next day. Lucky for me, reza offered me to send me home. Thank u very much, reza! :) so yeah i only get to enjoy 2 hrs of sleep only and then off to work again. My eyes were closing and head keep banging on that day. I swear i'll not going to do that again in future. Shish. Ooo ya! And congrats to sis. She's engaged. 27 nov will be the big day. Like finally! At 32, she's tying the knot. Hehehe. Im so looking forward. :)
md
Then last night, me and nanie (an old friend aka hubby's ex gf) had fun playing with danish at home. Then, both of us went karaoke at Cash Studio Ming Arcade. We had a blast! Best karaoke partner so far. Hee. So we're suppose to end the session at 12 but lucky for us, the staff told us that we can extend til 1 for free! Wow! We went crazy singing the talented,lady gaga's song. Hahaha. What a night. So after that, we had our smoke opp orchard tower and there's this old,ugly ang moh were looking at us like we're prostitues. Yikes! We then swear him like hell then took a cab and went home separately. Eww. Disgusting. You shld look at his face. Bluek bluek!

So thats how i spent my weekend! Hw's urs? I hope you had fun too. I'll c u again people! Muax!

I've a new colleague at work. Her name is Liying, 19 and a lil bit like ah lian but overall, she's kaki gerek. Btw having her around makes me wanna go to work early & not lonely. My boss, Sandy chose me to train her and guess what, i'm not good in this. Hahaha. hope she learn quickly coz later kena scold from sandy. Anyway, Sandy just inform me that she will be increasing my salary soon depends on my performance and it will be quite a big cash for me.

Anyway, hubby lost his $60 and we're $60 poorer. SobSob.i feel like crying coz we cant afford to lose money now as we're trying to upgrade ourselves. I mean there's alot of things i need to settle. But it's all fated. Nasi Da Jadi Bubor. What to do.

You know, it's kinda sad when you heard or knew that there's some ppl have BIGGER probs more than you. i mean, i'm just sad that my sis's december wedding may not happen coz she n her soon-to-be husband argue alot these past few days. She kept crying and i'm clueless of whats going on. haix. you have my sympathy and support, sis. Pray hard that your wedding will still carry on on 5 & 6 dec 2009.

Cant wait for Surin to give birth to her babygirl coz ya sape kn tk excited. Danish ade kawan baru. it's the same feeling when maryam is pregnant with her daughter, Stesha Aneeqa. but as usual, i don't show em that i'm excited. the reason: EGO. hee.

To my girls, I Love You, people. i think u guys know that. if u don't, take note. even though u girls have make me fed-up and angry with your attitudes but still, i tried not to take it too hard. Coz there's no point getting angry. But sometime, it's sad to know that one by one lead different path and became acquaintance. Be there and happy when i have the cash and wild life, avoid me when i'm in difficulty and lost. Not to be emotional here but this is friendship life. There's no such thing as FRIENDS FOREVER. it's true and admit it.

Yesterday, there's this chinese guy (did i mention he's cute) hee, came to my shop and promote he's salon as there were having promo for their 5th anniversary. the salon is owned by i tink Eddie Gan aka mediacorp hairstylist. & the promo is quite a BIG BIG deal. all i have to do is pay $30 and i can choose to perm or sort straightening or colouring or spa treatment for free for my first visit. Then, subsequently, i have 50% off for highlight, colouring, treatment, straightening, VIP and more offer till guess when, 31 OCTOBER 2010. Cheap2 hor. Liying and i bought it with calculation done. hahaha. We decided to go for soft straightening on 19 oct 2009 for free as its u.p is quite expensive. it's a waste if i dont make use of it. huh!

P/s: no 4D aku kua but not in order. (1969)

May.

Hello.. testing testing blog check. hahaha. LAME ah me. Hey guys, i decided to blog 'coz i find that hidop aku ni tgh byk sgt bende terjadi and it's like a merry - go- round. Seriously, im not kidding. So i guess by blogging about it can simply u know, help me release it.

Anyway, My name is May. Born on 3 December 1989 at 1212hrs. Married to Ahmad Hidayat aka Bean & apple of our eyes, who else, none other than Danish Haikal. time check: 1:42am and still awake, insomnia. well, beside blogging. sebelah aku ni, hubby n danish tdo. gone, suspect lau bomb meletop pon maseh still snoring. hahaha.

anyway, i kinda miss some of my girlfriends and boyfriends who used to be a 'Must' in my life. grooving around, doing crazy stuff, boyfriends gelek bontot naked and girlfriends that you can really count on. these people have lead their lives way different from mine & it seems like there's no point catching up with em but still i miss em especially Noor Suriana Andin who have been avoiding me since.. i cant remember when. i don't know why you are avoiding your friends and then me, just because your boify ask you too. come on la girls, it's almost end of 2009, still girls always dgr ckp 'laki' de. if i were u guys who are not yet married, i'll definitely wanna be single and focus on my career. Don't you wanna be Rich, Young and Famous? when i say RICH, i mean having your own money, not your parents or others. i bet you agree with me on this. think about it. btw working at Far East Plaza makes me wanna SPEND, SPEND, SPEND. hahaha. i bought a a black off-shoulder at honey bee for just $39.90. i bought bcoz of the design,'zip of my shoulder'. huh. then since i became member of watsons, i keep buying beauty products and make-up since it rebate points from it. tell you frankly, i'm not rich guys. i just work my a** out just to earn the money. to those who are working, you know what i mean.

now i'm smoking away feeling sleepy. cant really blog when your mind is in 'traffic jam'. hahaha. guess i'll updatte you guys more in future. try to make it an interesting blog that will make you wanna read more about it, ok? im signing out now. good night people. p/s: no 4D aku tk kua nari. try again tmr. May.